Relationship Myths That Affect Your Marriage

After your wedding is over and you have returned from your honeymoon, the real job of making a life together has just begun. Regardless of how exciting the wedding and the honeymoon were, reality will be an entirely different process that can make your new life as a married couple a little rocky to start with.

We all grow up with a head full of attitudes and opinions that have been instilled in our thinking processes by well-meaning relatives and friends since the day we were born. Most of those points of view are myths that, if believed, will bring stress to your life.

Some newly married couples believe that they have to agree on everything or their marriage is failing. When you both discover that you do not agree on something, you might start arguing and trying to convince your partner that you are right. The truth is that you probably will not think the same way about everything. You were raised differently surrounded by the psychological and historical beliefs of your own family.

Fundamentally different viewpoints are a natural thing when men and women interact with each other, regardless of the specific nature of their relationship. It would be more productive to agree to disagree and settle on a compromise that makes both of you happy.

Another mythical problem that could derail your happiness is that the two of you have to have common interests and do everything together. Frankly that is just not possible in a healthy marriage. If you two are lucky enough to share some common interests or activities, that’s great. Trying to force interest in activities that you don’t have will just cause stress and real conflict between the two of you.

A normal relationship lets both people enjoy participating occasionally in activities with their own group of friends without guilt. Trying to force your partner to enjoy activities that don’t interest them might slide your relationship into a power struggle that will hurt both of you. A simple solution is to develop interests you both enjoy without feeling obligated to drop your friends and your enjoyment of the activities you share with them.

Arguments between married couples are inevitable and, even if they get heated, it does not mean that your marriage is over. Arguing is not a sign of weakness or a lack of concern for the other person. It can release tension and build a feeling of trust that you have the freedom to speak your mind without humiliation. What you are arguing about it not as important to your relationship as how you argue is.

Attacking your partner is a giant mistake because it shifts the attention to a personal attack on the worth or self esteem of your partner and leaves the real argument far behind. Emotional abuse is devastating and can begin unraveling the fiber of your marriage. Instead, take some time for both of you to calm down and then approach the discussion from a different perspective.

Try to find the parts that both of you can agree to accept and expand your discussion to the points that made you both so angry. Look for compromise and do not get involved in the stimulation of another argument. If you cannot reach an agreement, table the discussion for another time to give you both time to reach a different perspective.

It is very important to end your discussion with some care and concern for each other. Arguing does not mean that you have stopped loving each other.
Soften your feelings for each other and try a little tender loving care to cure the ragged edges of the argument. A hug and a kiss can go a long way toward restoring peace in your home.

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