How To Give The Best Bridesmaid and Best Man Wedding Toast

So now you have gone and done it for yourself. You went and got yourself a best friend. Your best friend is getting married. And now your friends are getting married and they’ve asked you to be in the wedding party AND to give a toast at the reception. If you are one of the few, you cherish these public speaking opportunities. However, if you are one of the rest of us, you know you can’t turn it down but at the same time feel trepidation about your big speech.

Statistics have shown that more people are afraid of public speaking then they are of more common fears, and it is indeed a very fearful act, speaking in public, as anything you say cannot be taken back. So as stressful as it is already to be giving a speech at your best friend’s wedding, it is probably even more stressful if you’re one of the majority that fears public speaking.

Because of the stakes, it is a natural instinct to look online at free wedding speeches and free wedding speech outlines. I urge you to not use these because then you are not speaking your voice but someone else’s voice. This will make the speech come out sounding robotic. The speech should be in your voice and in your personality. With a canned speech you will more likely bore the entire wedding guest list.

When making speeches, the simpler the better, you won’t have to depend on free wedding speeches off the net if you have memories of your friends.

When you are asked to do a wedding toast, it is probably because you are in a great position to share with the wedding guests little stories and memories about your friends that are getting married. You can talk about how they were before they met, how they met, and how they are perfect for each other. You do not need a factory made speech to do this.

To help you develop your own speech that everyone will love, here are a few guidelines for you.

– Forget the preaching go on with the memories

People like going to the movies. People like being entertained. (Most) People do not like being lectured. You probably have seen the wedding toast that consists of “life” lessons for the bride and groom and they can sometimes be quite boring. Instead, go for the story and memory. It’s great to have a little “lesson” at the end (like a moral of the story) but this should be used more to wrap up the story then to teach a life lesson. A shared memory with a wrap up starting with “the point of this story” makes for a great entertaining speech. If it’s a memory that is fun and not well known by the wedding audience, that makes it even more special.

– Short and effective, not long and winding.

Many of us know that a long speech is very boring; you don’t want to dull the night with your talks of your childhood, and your games, with your friend. A biography is for a book, one or two memories are for a wedding. Putting it this way, have you ever been to a wedding where you heard a speech and then people laughed and you thought that was the end of it, and then the speech went on? There is a natural “ending” for speeches. Do not feel like you need to get everything in even if you have no shortage of great stories and memories you want to share. Roughly one and a half minutes to three minutes is a great timeframe to capture the attention span of your audience.

– Consider a poem

Okay, I personally do not like poems. I think sometimes they are cliche. Once in awhile I do hear a really great one though. My personal feelings aside, I know that a lot of people do enjoy poems. They can be clever, witty, fun, ANd when you combine a personal story with it, a poem can be a smashing success! A wedding Is a very emotional moment and so don’t worry about being a little corny and emotional!

– Remember To Introduce Yourself!

When you introduce yourself, it helps build a quick relationship with your audience. It also gives a point of view from where your stories and memories come from. Even though it is a very easy thing to do, it is often forgotten as well. Remember to introduce yourself.

– A little “ribbing” is okay, but remember to finish with a great tribute to the wedding couple.

I’ll just give you a good example of what I’m talking about. At one wedding the father of the bride was handing around the mic encouraging people to say something. Of course public speaking being the bane of existence for many, I volunteered (I enjoy public speaking!). This is what I said:

“Hi everyone. My name is Kennly. I’m a pretty good friend of Judy’s and from that have gotten to know Jeremy a little bit since they’ve started dating. And if you know both of them, you know Judy is a fun and energetic person. You just have to see her smile and it lights up your mood. Jeremy, however, well.. let’s just say the first time I met him I didn’t think he liked me because he frowned the whole time like this (insert my best caricature impression of Jeremy) (laughter from audience and Jeremy too!). The second time I met him, I didn’t think he liked anyone. The third time I met him, I was convinced he had not teeth which explained why he never smiled”

(More laughter)

“That being said, you know these two are meant to be because I have never seen Jeremy smile and look at him now! (Jeremy is chuckling and loving it) Seriously today he could light up an entire city. So you know that Judy must be some sort of special to him. And Judy, as bright as I’ve ever seen her smile, this is the brightest. And seeing them together it’s easy to see why. You both look so good together and I wish you may more years of happiness and bright bright smiles together.”

You will notice all the different elements I spoke about above (excluding the poem – don’t think I can do that on the fly) were present in my very short little shpiel. I introduced myself. My speech was very short. I’m sharing a little memory/story/insight. I poke a small bit of fun. Then I elevate and edify the wedding couple. I think I did pretty well!

I hope these tips are helpful. I also hope my last example is helpful as well. Use these guidelines to write a speech in your own voice and you can’t lose!

Stop by Kennly Yakamoto’s Wedding Reception Planning site if you are planning a wedding! Great tips abound, no worries: wedding planning help is here!

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